I don’t love football.
I love what football does for young men. I love that it teaches them to be team players, and about respect, and about being good men. I love that.
I love that my husband loves football. He feels joy coaching. He feels joy watching. He feels joy talking about football. I do love that.
I love what football can do for communities. Kids who normally wouldn’t have anything to work towards can find ownership in a team and can feel inspired. Families can come together to support a team. Communities can grow closer. Those are all good things.
I am not a football loving gal. I wasn’t raised to love football. My dad loves football. My brother loves football. Having a sister, though, we weren’t expected to sit down and watch football games; we could do other things if we wanted to. I didn’t grow up near a huge college where football rules all and I didn’t grow up near a specific professional team. Football is not in my blood, but now, married to the man i’m married to, everything has changed.
Nat is a football loving, football coach. This has been something both of us have had to get used to in our marriage. I came into the marriage not loving football, not expecting to have to. Nat came into the marriage from a family that L O V E S football, not expecting someone not to.
Anyway, that has been something we’ve dealt with during our first year of marriage. The back and forth, up and down of football season. Why aren’t you home? We don’t spend enough time together? Why can’t I just be supportive? All of those things…not the prettiest parts of our personalities.
I am not friends with many other coaches’ wives. In our circle of friends, Nat is the only one. This year I’ve really wondered- am I doing something wrong in our marriage? Why am I having a hard time when everyone else isn’t? Well, last weekend Nat and I went to Carson Newman’s coaching clinic where they minister to coaches and their wives. I sat in on a session for just the wives that was eye opening. The presenters asked us to list the best and hardest parts of being a coach’s wife. I was expecting to be the only one who said something along the lines of…everything.
Was I wrong! These women opened up and spoke about the things I have been struggling with all year- the late dinners, the hours spent alone during the season, the realization that sometimes football comes first. I sat there dumbfounded- I am not crazy! Other women feel the same exact way I do. They sympathized with me when I spoke about eating dinner by myself or very late at night. They told me that it is always a struggle, but it is always worth it.
I was so refreshed by the end of that hour. I am not alone in this. I am not the only coach’s wife who feels a little aggressive towards football come October. Hallelujah, thank you Jesus. I am not crazy. I can make it through football season knowing that I will get used to it. It doesn’t magically get easier, but I will eventually learn how to manage it better.
Being a coach’s wife is a hard life, but it is a blessed life. I have to give myself some grace knowing that we are only 1 full season in. I shouldn’t be an expert. I shouldn’t even be good at it. I am learning. I am so thankful to Jesus for that room of women telling me what I needed to hear. I am not crazy. I am a coach’s wife.